The first time I met a medical or wellness professional who didn’t give me the distinct feeling that they were trying to wrap up our conversation after 30 seconds, I was floored.
Her name was Daniela Turley, and she was a Medical Herbalist, but she looked more like an angel. She was warm, and kind, and knowledgeable. I got tongue-tied at our first appointment. After years of feeling rushed or not listened to, I had my own method of communicating in these situations. Basically, I would wait for any pause in the conversation and blurt out my prepared statement like my life depended on it. It turns out, I was so accustomed to not being listened to, that when I was actually listened to and taken seriously, I froze. This was unchartered territory. Suddenly for the first time, I didn’t have to be on the defensive.
At one point in the conversation, Daniela said something that has stayed with me always. She looked me in the eye and she said, “you now have an ally in your healing. We are going to figure this out together.”
Something broke in me when she said that. “Broke” seems a funny word to use because of its negative connotations, but I mean “broke” in the very best sense. There would be no going back. I felt tears smart my eyes, and my chest get tight. I clenched my fists so my nails dug into my palms. I DID NOT WANT TO CRY. My internal monologue went something like this:
Do. Not. Cry. This beautiful British lady is going to think you’re crazy. Keep. It. Together. Did I mention she’s British?! Do not embarrass yourself!!
Well, the cruel reality is that generally the more you resist crying…the more likely you are to cry.
And did I ever. To my mortification, there I was weeping in front of this gorgeous woman with perfect bangs. It all came out, everything I had been through. I can only imagine that my voice reached that unhinged, Minnie Mouse-esque pitch that only happens to me when I’m crying with wild abandon…or trying very hard to sound polite to a stranger on the phone.
By the end of the appointment, I had calmed down. In fact, as soon as I got it all out and realized I could trust her, I calmed down. I had an ally, damn it That in and of itself lifted part of the weight that I had been carrying for so long.
I didn’t realize it at the time all those years ago, but Daniela gave me a gift that was even more valuable than our work together. She showed me a different paradigm for healing.
I believe that partnership is what will take us to the next level. No one person has all the answers. And there’s no one way to go about getting better, healthier, or happier. Professionals who preach from ivory towers are becoming a dying breed. The way we combat that dynamic is by sharing information and refusing to accept the status quo. By listening. By celebrating the achievements of each other. What if instead of viewing each other as competition, we remembered that we’re actually on the same team?
Welcome to No One Wellness.
